Thursday, 13 January 2011

Just feel better...

I don't feel safe at the moment.  I feel marked.  Many years ago, I had what they called a toxic psychosis.  Basically, they filled me so full of chemicals that my brain went haywire.  I started to see and hear, touch, taste and smell things that other people could not.  And at the time, I accepted their 'diagnosis'.  I thought, 'okay', this will get better one day.  And, quelle surprise, it did not.  Even to this day, I see the same man following me.  Imagine that, being followed by the same man for the best part of nine years.  He looks relatively normal.  He's about five foot ten inches tall.  He has jet black hair, cut into a fairly modern style.  And his eyes are black as sin.  Literally.  He wears a black coat, black trousers, and black shiny shoes.  And he pops up everywhere.  The same man has been stalking me for all this time.  When you look deep into his eyes, all you can see are flames.  And this is why, perhaps, I know that he is demonic (sorry, can't think of a better word).  Basically, when I was at death's door, a decision was made.  To put it crudely, I'm not going 'up', I'm going 'down'.  And I'm shit scared, as anyone would be.

So I feel like the only way out is sui caedaere (forgive spelling).  And I just want to get it over with now. 

I'm sick of being unwell.  And I'm sorry for moaning (to anyone sicker than me!).

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