Thursday 23 June 2011

Bad day

Hope you're all having fine and healthy days.  Today I feel poorly, I feel distinctly rough.  It began about a week ago, when I started to suffer sudden attacks of palpitations that were so strong they took my breath away.  It's not something I usually suffer from, so I found it kind of frightening.  And gradually as the week has worn on, I've felt more and more unwell.  Today I feel as if my throat is swollen.  If you've ever had tonsilitis, you'll know what I mean.  The trouble is, I don't have tonsils.  So I'm not quite sure what the problem is.  I know that I have to see the doctor asap, but I just can't face it.  I feel horribly depressed today, but I just can't seem to rest up.  That's the trouble with having MDP as well as the TS.  Sometimes the needs of the two conflict.  I suppose that because the MD affects my mind, it usually wins the fight. 

I found out a while ago that I didn't get the job that I went for.  I said before I went that I thought they already had someone in mind, as they had restricted the number of applicants to twenty, standard practice when you're going through the motions of an interview.  But it was when she told me that my tests were marked highest, and my interview was fine too, that I thought 'there's something fishy going on here'.  But I shouldn't get upset, I'm not well enough to work anyway.  It would have been nice to have had a foothold in the real world, but I can cope.

Sorry, I shall try and be more cheerful tomorrow.

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