Wednesday, 29 June 2011

Life goes on.

Hey there!

Am pleased to report that I am feeling much better.  The Clarithromycin worked within a few hours, and suddenly I didn't feel as if I were boiling alive.  I wish that I could say the same for my failing friendship, but I think that that at least is terminally unwell.  I got an email from my 'friend', who said that it was all the result of misunderstanding relating to text messages on both our parts. And that left me thinking, okay, fair enough.  But what exactly was the misunderstanding apart?  How am I supposed to talk to this guy ever again when I don't know exactly what it was that set him off?  I sent a message back saying 'well okay, thanks for letting me know.  But it didn't really tell me what was wrong, and now I'm too nervous of upsetting you to be able to continue this friendship.  So basically, it's been nice, and it's a terrible shame, but I guess this is the first time in my life that I've had to end my friendship with someone ever'.  At least, I think so...

I think that friendship is a precious thing.  But if someone becomes 'toxic', then they need extracting, lol.  He was trying to get me in trouble with my husband.  Thinking back now, I'm sure of it.  He kept sending me messages asking me to perform sexual acts on him, despite knowing that it wasn't something I was up for.  Then he started sending me messages saying 'Love you babe',  Stuff like that.  At the time I put it down to him being drunk, but now I realise that it showed a profound disrespect for who I am.  So I'm still upset about it, but am beginning to realise that my life may be considerably better without him in it at all.

Now I have more energy to concentrate on my fight with TS.  I went to see my surgeon a few weeks ago (it must be at least six now) to say that my tracheal stent had become uncomfortable, and he said he would list me for surgery to have a look at what was going on with it.  But I have heard absolutely nothing.  And I'm sure that all this chest infections are the result of the stent being in the wrong place.  So I simply must chase that one up and stop being so lazy.

I spoke to my care coordinator today and asked him to arrange blood tests for me.  I'm pretty convinced that someone has been trying to poison me, and whether it is a paranoid delusion or not, blood tests will rule out any possibility of it actually happening.  I asked him to keep it between him and me, but I guarantee that by tomorrow morning, the entire department will be thinking I've gone insane again.  C'est la vie.  It's a means to an end, isn't it?  He wouldn't order a blood test just because I asked him to, but I am pretty sure he'll sort one out for me now.  Trouble is, it means they're going to find out that I've been off the lithium for a while.  Ooopsie, I didn't think about that too hard, did I?!

I'm going to make an appointment with my local MP to begin the process of fighting for my tracheal transplant.  He very kindly agreed to help me in principle, so it's time I stopped putting it off and got my arse into gear.  So a busy week planned by my standards.

Hope you've all had a lovely day.  Night night and sweet dreams x

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