greetings.... sorry, my shift key has died again. we shall have to plug along as best we can...
so, today was an interesting day. I had a great night, owing to the fact that when i took my pregabalin, the pain in my leg miraculously vanished. oh my word, what a relief. i found myself getting quite giddy from the lack of pain. Anyway, that feeling continued into today, and i awoke feeling quite elated.
i had an appointment with stormin norm, which was quite enlightening. he had his student, laura with him, and he was quite happy to sit back and let her take control. so anyway, we discussed what happened on tuesday, and he told me it was like watching a very fast tennis match, hehe, dr d was very quick, so we had some jokes going on that were so quick even norm couldn't follow all of them. he persisted in thinking that 'as you like it' was a quote from hamlet, and didn't believe me when i told him it was a play in it's own right. oh dear. so anyway, i spoke with him about the blood results, and my concerns about taking yet more poisonous lithium. everybody seems convinced that i am hypomanic and getting higher by the second, but i feel fine. wonderful even. it just feels like they are all trying to kill my buzz right now. c'est la vie.
i accused norm of being a nine to fiver. i told him that i had called him time after time to get my blood results, and i would always get a message saying he was busy, or would call me back later. it was something of a frustrating experience because at no point did he ever actually return my call. I had to literally turn up on the doorstep looking deranged, in order to get an answer. i was so worried about my liver and kidneys etc, and my heart in particular, but norm was just worried about getting home on time. so i put this to him, and all he did was laugh. it seems, my friends, i have his number. so the moral of the story is remember, it's your life these people are dealing with, but to them, you are just another case. they don't care a fig what actually happens to you. so look after your own interests, and make sure they give you the answers you need. And don't be afraid to ask questions that they find awkward to answer. Be straight down the line, be honest, be transparent, and you will do fine. whatever you do, don't rely on these people. Because when they go hom at 5pm, they won't give you another thought, however distressed you may be.
i have another interview, this time for a ward aministrator job at a big hospital in london. i am thrilled. it would be nice to get back in the game, and if i could find a sympathetic enough employer, my life would be a lot easier. so we shall see, eh?
my airway is still suffering from this mysterious throat infection, and i am dying for it to break, quite literally. i need this to be better by monday, because i do not need to be contending with a lack of available air as well as interview stress. when i go for jobs, I never cover up my scars by the way. i believe that they are badges of honour, a sign that i have lived through what i might only describe as hell. it was very painful for me to have acquired scars like that, and I reaslly don't think the pain of people looking at them really compares. i am alive because of those scars. If they don't like looking at them, then tough!! wear your scars with pride, my friends, you have nothing to be ashamed of.
have a lovely evening, speak soon.
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