Lost in sickness

Today, i shall write a serious post.  perhaps....

Sometimes, when you have a very serious and chronic health issue, it is easy to lose yourself.  Life becomes all about hospital appointments, surgery dates, scan appointments, GP appointments, medication, pharmacies, repeat prescriptions, nebulisers etc etc.  All of that leaves very little room for me, 'M'.

I fought hard over they years to find a way to exist alongside my illness. I can lecture on the upper and lower airway, I know my relevant medications and doses, and am able to outprescribe any junior doctor.  This is useful, it helps me know why they are prescribing drugs, and what they are planning to do next.  I never ask to read my medical notes.  I just read them.  I can even read upside down. 

But I have a life outside of my illness.  I am engaged in mental health advocacy.  I have guitar lessons with the lovely Nick.  I have a lovely little vegetable garden.  It isn't much, but it is mine.  When you ask my friends who i am, they will tell you 'she is loud, she had big hair, she will do anything to help anyone in need, she has a husky voice, she plays guitar, she likes to bake, she makes hats, she gardens.....'.  The very last thing they would say is 'oh, and she has a very serious illness'.  so it is there, but it isn't all that's there.

the moral of today's lecture is that if you too have a serious illness, and i hope you don't, but if you do, you must not let it win.  if you have a life outside of your illness, even if the illness eventually kills you, it won't win.  but don't let the illness take your life from you while you are alive.  As BonJovi once said 'i'll sleep when i'm dead'.

if you are ill, damn well fight it!!!!!